Tom Cruise Named "Flakiest Man Alive"

Movie star Tom Cruise, who recently bounced on Oprah Winfrey's couch to declare his love for starlet Katie Holmes, was named "Flakiest Man Alive" in this week's Psychiatry Today, just as rumors are circulating that Cruise and Holmes may be splitting up.
"Cruise exhibits classic symptoms of egocentrism and narcicism," the magazine wrote. "While he falls short of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual's definition of a psychiatric disorder, his behavior signals a deeply conflicted personality and an inability to commit. He's also got way to much damned time on his hands."
Runners up in the magazine's annual roundup of "Flakiest Personalities" include George Clooney, Rosie O'Donnell, Courtney Love, Madonna and Vice President Dick Cheney.
But the magazine said Cruise stood out because of his televised argument with "Today" show host Matt Lauer about anti-depressant drugs and his condemnation of actress Brooke Shields for taking them to treat post-partum depression. "His crude and, I daresay, uninformed remarks about psychiatry didn't help his case much," said Dr. Edwin Neumiller, editor of Psychiatry Today. "He is what we in the mental health community refer to as 'a moron.' "

Cheney To Hunt With Scooter Libby

Vice President Dick Cheney is insisting his wounding of a hunting companion Saturday was an accident. But suspicions were raised this week when Cheney invited his former chief of staff, Lewis "Scooter Libby" to accompany him on a quail-shooting expedition next week.
Libby, who resigned after being indicted for allegedly lying to investigators last year reportedly has told prosecutors his old boss authorized him to leak information to reporters about the identity of a CIA operative -- information that has some Democrats calling for Cheney to resign and could lead to legal proceedings against the veep.
"Shooting this Whittington fellow could just have been an elaborate ruse to set up the alibi that Cheney's a lousy shot," said John J. Jones, a prominent conspiracy-theory blogger. "Then if Libby takes some buckshot to the brain and gets in a coma and can't tesify, people will just be all, like, "That Dick! He ought to give up hunting."
Jones also did not discount the theory that Cheney could be planning future hunting trips as a way of dealing with critics and other enemies. "That New York Times reporter that he called a "big time" "major league asshole," and the senator he told to go $%^& himself, they ought to stay clear of Cheney any time he has his hands on a shotgun," said Jones.
Other Developments
In other developments in the Cheney hunting story, the vice president in an interview to air Wednesday on the Fox News channel, reportedly vowed to have all proper permits in place next time he shoots a lawyer in the face.
He added that when he apologized to Whittington, "he was very Christian about it and turned the other cheek." A witness, however, later said Whittington turned the other cheek not to be gracious but to avoid having it, too, shot. Several others who have hunted with Cheney in the past said they will no longer do so, considering the cancellation a "face-saving measure."