New Hillary Spokesman Says Obama Is "History"

In his first press conference as spokesman for Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton's presidential campaign, former Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Al-Sahhaf said Clinton's Democratic rival Barack Obama was "finished, history, gone. Yesterday's news."

Al-Shahaf, who earned the name Comical Ali for his assertive pronouncements of Iraqi victory over the coalition forces after the 2003 invasion, insisted that Clinton was well on her way to clinching the Democratic nomination.
"Obama's a flash in the pan, last week's paper," said Al-Shahaf. "Next week, people will be asking who is that guy Obama, his name sounds familiar ..."
Asked how he could explain Obama's lead in delegates, superdelegates, poll numbers and fundraising, al-Shahaf insisted "the delegates are with Hillary, the fundraisers are with Hillary, the American people are with Hillary, even the voters on American Idol are voting for Hillary. The infidel Obama has been vanquished, victory is ours."
Also joining Hillary's campaign this week was former NBC News4 New York news anchor Sue Simmons, who was fired this week after an incident involving on-air obscenity. When asked about her role, Simmons said "What the f**k do you think my motherf***ing role is? I'm going to help kick Obama's f***ing ass, you f***ing piece of s**t!"