Monday, July 10, 2006

Kim Jong-Il Pierces Tongue, Wrecks Car In Latest Bid For Attention

Ratcheting up his efforts to win the attention of world powers, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il had his tongue and other body-parts pierced, sources said, after a late-night partying binge in which he also wrecked his family's SUV.
Intelligence sources said Kim's bad behavior has increased since a Fourth of July rocket test last week failed to win as much attention as the World Cup soccer matches and the death of former Enron CEO Ken Lay.
"Who do you have to [expletive] to get a full day of coverage on CNN these days," Kim was quoted as saying in an interview with a Pyongyang radio station.
The White House declined to comment on Kim's latest antics. "We'll get around to studying that, just as soon as we finish that upcoming study on climate change," said spokesman Tony Snow, referring to a report that is due in late 2007.
A further enraged Kim Jong-Il then left a five-pound bag of maraijuana in his home just as reporters were visiting and got his girlffriend pregnant.

*Future Is Bleak For Optimists Society
*Wife Who Shot Preacher Kicked Off Bake Sale Committee
*Britney Wants Her Virginity Back
*God Switching To G-Mail
*50-Cent Named Director Of Homeboy Security
*Bisexuals Love Appleā€™s New Bi-Pod
*White House Plan Would Create Privatized Daylight Savings Accounts
*Cancer Bestows Lifetime Achievement Award On Tobacco Company
*Honorary Degree A Big Boost To Man's Honorary Career
*Workaholic Goes 90 Days Without Workahol
*Reform School For Vandals Shut Down By High Maintenance Costs
*Homeland Security Dept. Considering Scratch'N Sniff Terror Alerts
*US Troops Discover DMVs in Baghdad
*West Bank Announces More Branches, Better Hours
*Moon Hits Akron, OH, Man's Eye Like A Big Pizza Pie
*Twelve Injured In PC Hard-Drive Crash
*Chasidic Porn Surfer Finds No Google Results Under"Shmutz"

* Month Passes Without New Jude Law Movie
* Halle Berry Offered $12 Million To Not Make "Catwoman 2"
* Network Plans Series Of Events Based On TV Movies
* New Series, "Law and Order: Overkill," Begins Production
* Harrison Ford, 62, To Film "Raiders Of The Pension Fund"


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home