Destitute Of The World Cheer News Of Possible Water On Saturn Moon

The world's poor, hungry, homeless and fatally ill cheered nearly in unison last week when NASA announced that a space probe has uncovered strong evidence that water exists on Enceladus, a moon of Saturn.
"I can't freaking believe it," said Tadzik Karema, whose home in Bandar Aceh was destroyed by the massive Asian tsunami in December, 2004. "Do you know what this means? Water is the basis of life. Of course, you know, we had a bit too much of it over here, but that's another story."
Imru Haili of Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, heard the news while searching for animal carcasses to feed his family. "For real?" he asked. "Water on Enceladus? Wow. Now if only there was some clean drinking water around here."
Haili added that the news was so exciting it almost made him forget that for the cost of that NASA space probe "you could feed my entire village for the next 300 years."
Felicia Wilson, who is in the end stages of lung cancer, removed her oxygen mask when told of the news at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Hospital in Manhattan and said: "I may not live long enough to hear the next report about that space probe, but I'll go to my grave with the hope that even if cancer won't be cured any time in the near future, we will have answers about the possibility of microscopic marine bacteria on Enceladus."