Cruise-Holmes Pregnancy Drawing Thousands Of New Followers To Scientology

Scientology churches across the country have been besieged by new members since the announcement by a leading advocate, Tom Cruise, that he and girlfriend Katie Holmes are expecting a child out of wedlock.
"Any religion where you can be a fully devout member and still get lots of premarital sex is OK by me," said Ron Goldberg of Duluth, Minn., as he signed up for classes at a local Scientology center.
"I'd be afraid to show my face at temple if I knocked up my girlfriend, forget about having a publicist spread the word."
Jack Cavanaugh of Chicago, who had been a practicing Catholic, said the announcement had caused him to see Scientology in a new light. "It all seemed pretty hokey to me," said Cavanaugh, a prospective convert. "But if you get to bang movie stars, and the only requirement seems to be denouncing psychiatry and blasting people who have post-partum depression, it's a hell of a lot better than giving stuff up for Lent and confessing all the time."