Top Writer On "Lost" Admits There Is No Plot

A top writer on ABC's suspense-packed drama "Lost" has revealed that the show has absolutely no ongoing plot, and that the creators make up each episode of the island castaways show shortly before shooting.
"We all get really toasted and say things like 'wouldn't it be great if Jack climbs down a hatch and finds some paranoid Australian guy playing old Mama Cass songs,' and then the next thing you know it's in the script," said the writer, who spoke on condition of anonymity. "Once in a while someone, usually a network executive, asks how all this affects the storyline, and we're all, like, 'don't worry, you'll see. It'll all come together.' Yeah, right."
The writer said the top-rated second season premiere last week was written on the back of some burrito wrappers and photo-copied while the cast and crew waited to begin shooting on the set in Maui. "Some of the cast members wanted revisions, and we said just go ahead and do what you want," said the writer. "They each have their own ideas about what Claire's baby and Walt and the French Woman and The Others and the Guy In The Hatch all have in common. We may have to rely on them eventually to tie it all together because we have no freaking clue. Last week we even watched some Gilligan's Island reruns for inspiration."
The writer added that the show's creator and executive producer, JJ Abrams, rarely shows up at the set. "He e-mailed me the other day and said the network really wanted to look at some of some advance scripts, so at some point we may have to actually write an episode or two ahead, but that probably won't be for a season or too. As long as the ratings are up, it really won't matter."