Friday, March 17, 2006

State Department Names Sharon Stone Ambassador To World's Idiots

After a press conference in Israel in which she spoke of people wanting to see her "boobies" in an upcoming film, actress Sharon Stone has been tapped by the State Department to be its official ambassador to the world's idiots.
"This is a crucially important post," said Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. "She will be our voice to an increasingly large portion of the world."
Stone, 48, was at the Peres Center for Peace last week in Tel Aviv when she told reporters that her views on the Middle East didn't seem as important to many people as whether she appeared nude in "Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction," the sequel to her breakthrough role.
"People are just sitting there going, like, 'I don't care what she's saying. I don't care what she's saying. I just want to know is she getting naked? Is she getting naked in that movie? Is she naked? Nude? Nude? Naked? Do I see her boobies?'" the actress told reporters. "The answer is: yes."
After the conference Shimon Peres, the Israeli political leader and 80-year-old candidate for prime minister who invited Stone, took several minutes to stand up from his seat, leaving only after everyone else had gone.
Stone was later quoted saying "I'll kiss just about anyone for peace," which reportedly prompted numerous calls to her agent from North Korea's Kim Jong Il, Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Syria's Bashar Assad and former US president Bill Clinton.
Following Stone's performance in Israel, the White House and State Department immediately saw an opening for Stone to be their emissary to drooling letches, morons and idiots around the world.
Stone's publicist said she will consider accepting the job after a promotional tour for the film and "getting her boobies done."


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