Monday, August 11, 2008

Affair Forces Edwards To Quit Being Failed Politician

The revelation that he cheated on his ailing wife and lied about it has apparently forced John Edwards to give up the life of a failed candidate for national office.
“Given the disgrace that he has brought on himself, former senator Edwards feels it is best that he not continue losing campaigns,” a source close to Edwards said Monday. “He feels his conduct may be discouraging other candidates who fail to gain any traction in two presidential races or turn out to be dead weight as running mate on a national party ticket.”
After news of Edwards’ 2006 liaison with filmmaker Rielle Hunter, and evidence of his cover-up emerged this week, some speculated that Edwards may still have a future as a loser on the national scene. “I think he can bounce back from this and go on to lose lots of other high-profile races,” said University of Nevada political science maven Wally Kirschman. “He’s a young man with big dreams who conceivably could be losing races well into the future. In fact, betraying his cancer-stricken wife may even help him maintain his place as an also-ran 10-20 years down the road.”
Some even said Edwards might have a chance at winning a race one day. “Hell, he did get elected to the Senate once, didn’t he?” said Harold Ramirez, who is the gardener to one of Edwards’ sisters.
But Edwards insiders say he believes it is time to turn his attention to other fields of endeavor. “There are a lot of other things he hasn’t screwed up yet,” said one former staffer.

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